I should be studying right now, but the fact that I haven’t known what to study the whole semester makes studying for the final challenging. Instead, I am listening to random music, ordering my best friend a Christmas present, and ignoring my to-do list. I have people coming for dinner on Saturday, and I am excited, but that means I need to clean my room… which I plan on doing, but that is just about as fun as studying, so here I am.
Lately I have been contemplating the new year, making plans and then coming up with reasons not to do those plans, and then thinking that I really want to do those plans, I deciding what to me is the most important use of time, money, life. So many people at work tell me I should do whatever I want now while I am single, but still… I own a house, I committed to school, I love living near family. My social l life in Wichita so far has consisted of 3 girls, one of whom is moving to Texas next week, one of whom is spending most of her time in Salina, and one that just got custody of her 4 year old niece. I officially have no one to go out to dinner late at night with anymore. So… I am going to change some things. Not sure what, but I am contemplating it. Of course, my choices are either do the traveling nurse thing, or figure out how to change it while staying here. We will see.
My house looks like Christmas, and that makes me happy on so many levels. My tree is fake with white lights, which isn’t my preference, but most of the ornaments are glittery which means it sparkles, and I love me some sparkles. I about feel off the ladder putting up my outside lights, but it looks good, probably the first time since I bought the house anyone can say that about the outside.
I love this girl:
I wish I knew how that relationship was going to work out.
Learning to accept things that you have no control over? That one is taking me awhile. I have had a couple of major meltdowns lately. Fortunately… I have a dad who will listen to me cry hysterically over nothing he can fix, and girlfriends who notice that I need a friend and so agree to drive down for an impromptu Christmas party. I need my girls.
I am planning my travel for the next year. So far I have:
Florida/cruise~ January 28.
Florida for my Birthday/Jessy’s senior trip~ March 16
Wisconsin for Chelsie~ Sometime when it is warm(July?)
Fall football trip~ September
Florida for RaDonna’s Wedding~ November 3
Texas for a potential Elizabeth wedding~ December (no she doesn’t have a ring and yes I am putting it on my calendar. My experience with Elizabeth is that she gets what she wants).
Other things I know: I will not go that long without seeing a certain baby so hopefully Ricki brings him home in Summer… or they can move to Arkansas and make it a weekend trip instead of a whole flight. RaDonna is moving to Nashville, so that would be a fun trip. And… I am leaving the country. Maybe to Zimbabwe in April or Rwanda in may? That comes back to what I am willing to spend money on. I am thinking Rwanda. That puts me at a major trip every other month. Also puts me hopefully gone in the middle of terms to make school easy. I should look that up.
I want to be content in where I am, but not willing to settle that this is what it is. make sense? I want to make the most of it, and know that maybe making the most of it isn’t quitting my job and moving every three months, (because honestly? I don’t make new friends easily and traveling is only fun if there is someone to take pictures with) but staying here, growing in my job, doing school, enjoying my raise (I now make more money than I did in KC. This makes me happy.) and finding things to get involved with in this community. I miss having a group. Maybe I need to figure out how to build one.
Maybe I need to sign up for that hockey class I keep checking out. Just a thought.
Maybe… I need to put my computer to bed and throw in a load of wash while reading a research article.
I miss him:
