Grandpa

I sat in a weirdly quiet apartment tonight and talked with my grandpa.  We talked about life, about how good his has been, about how much he loved grandma.  How she supported him in everything, but also knocked him down a peg a time or two when he needed it.  How lonely he is now, but not sad, because death is part of life and she is no longer suffering.

He kept looking at the program I made for her service and mentioning how much he loved the picture, how he smiled every time he saw it.

I want that kind of love someday. 

 

 

Tomorrow there will be a pumpkin pie baking.  We all deserve comfort food this week, and that was his choice. 

Grandma

She loved her grandkids.

We loved her.

(grandma and corrie, circa 1988)

 

I don’t think there are words to express how much her love meant to me, how big the loss is.  The shock the first time I walked into the apartment and she wasn’t there to say hi too.

The relief that she can now breathe without gasping, without needing roxinol. That she can get out of bed, move without pain.

I read the letters that have come pouring in, of people who loved my grandma.  Who had stories of bridge games, movie nights in DC, road trips to santa fe.  She made a difference in people’s lives, made the lives of those around a little bit better.  Memories of her have made everyone smile.

That is the best legacy I can think of someone leaving.

There is a little less awesome in the world today than there was a week ago

Time

The thing which we knew was coming, the end we have been preparing for, is coming.  It took longer than we expected, and is happening faster than we want. 

I pray for peace.  For her, and for him, and for my momma and for my aunts.  For us all.  I am grateful for time.  For the love I get to see surrounding this apartment, for the love I know she feels.

Sometime soon I am going to cry.  Crying is good for the soul, right? 

<p>My mom made me new curtains from Alexander Henry fabric, and i adore them :) my mom is awesome!